News, News, News!!!

I am just sitting here idling my time away (if only I had a stick to whittle) waiting for Rog to pack his bag.

We are off to Amsterdam this weekend so I will not be posting as regularly as usually. Actually, strike that.

We are off to Amsterdam this weekend so I will be posting as irregularly as usually.

In other news: I am now the proud owner of a job. A real job. Full time (actually, more than full time). Poorly paid. Wonderful experience. Plenty of room for growth (I hope).

It is pretty much what I was doing in Spain. Cataloguing art, fiddling with digital images, sending out emails inviting people to get into art. Of course, becasue I acutally speak English there will be a lot more interaction with the artists and the art world. I have my fingers crossed. It is a good start.

It not in a gallery per se, it is more of an Internet setup but the calibre of art seems impressive. The deal is basically to liaise between clients who want to commission portraits and artists who paint them. Some of the artists on the site have painted the Queen so I imagine that is some indication of the possibilties.

Check out the sites. Part of my role will be editing them so I am interested to see what you think. Leave a comment, give your impressions, especially with regards to how they make you feel when you first arrive.

www.commissionaportrait.com
www.commissionacraftsman.com
www.artwarefineart.com

Tags: job search, art, web design

Maybe she should have licked ARSEHOLES!

I know noneckedmonsters has been very quiet on the Big Brother front. Truth be told, it has been rather dull since young Nikki left.

Never fear, she saved her best till last. Her eviction was a truly bizarre affair. Nobody could believe it in the house. When it was announced the housemates started spouting insane little comments like "You can't be leaving, you must be going to Australia!"

You must watch the clip below. When she left, she was so overcome. You can actually see the conflicting thoughts wash over her. It must have been hard for her to have more than one thought in there at a time.

I love the way she walks down the staircase like a demented Norma Desmond.



Ms McCall, I am ready for my close up!

Tags: Big Brother UK, BBUK, Nikki

Trailer Trash

Get ready, I am about to unleash upon you the greediness of my anticipation.

Look out, these filums are coming to a theatre near you. I reveal them to you here in all their trailery goodness (just click on the posterettes!)

Almodóvar's latest, Volver. Actually, I have already seen it and it is fantastic. Penélope Cruz and Carmen Maura are sublime, so is Lola Dueñas actually, and as always Chus Lampreave. Hell they won the best cast at Cannes so there is not much more to say. Carmen and Almodóvar haven't worked together for almost twenty years after he apparently invited Bibi Andersen to the Academy Awards instead of her when he was nominated for Women On The Verge Of A Nervious Breakdown. Well it was worth the wait.

Never seen any of Aronofsky's work but this looks fucking incredible. One love story set over three different time periods. It is supposed to be nigh on incomprehensible but, hell, we like a challenge, yeah? It has already garnered comparisons to Kubrick's 2001, which I love, love, love. Of course that is probably because it features a big ball that floats in space, so don't hold your breath just yet.

Children of Men just popped onto my film radar when I saw this trailer, sneaky little fucker. Love Julianne, love Clive, love Michael, love the idea, love Y tu mama tambien and Cuarón is the only director who has been able to make a halfway decent Potter film thus far.

Another film from freaky frenchy crackpot director, Michel Gondry. I'll have two servings of that please. If it is halfway as good as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I won't complain. The word on the Interweb says it is wackily romantic, so I suppose the signs are good. Plus it has the delectable Gabriel Gael Bernal in it. Hands up who needs more reasons?

Another version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Without Vanilla Ice? What are they thinking? I think they are thinking of going back to the original comics and putting the down and dirty slant on it rather than the all-American guff that they served up last time. Actually the reason I mention it is that Mako (you know, the wizard from Conan The Barbarian was supposed to be voicing Splinter. Unfortunately, he passed away last week.

For me he will always be remembered as the narrator of Sondheim's most experimental piece of musical theatre, Pacific Overtures. I still cry every time I hear Mako close the show with the words: Welcome to Japan; heartbreaking. Goodbye.

If you are grieving now, then let me take you to the next stage: Anger.

Why the fuck do fucking American film studios insist on remaking decent foreign films in English. I find it infuriating! Learn the fucking language or at least learn how to read the fucking subtitles. L'Ultimo bacio was a fantastic rollercoaster of a midlife crisis. It was like a snowball tumbling down a mountain steadily gathering momentum before it smashed into the forest. The Americans have managed to turn it into what looks like a dreary, monotonous sequel to Garden State. Why Sweet Baby Lord Jesus, why? And they have the gall to say it was written by them. Urgh!

Tags: cinema, trailers, movies

Stormbreaker (or Cameo-fest 2006)

Imagine Spy Kids all grown up. And set in London. And filled with every famous British actor (except Dame Dench). Welcome to Stormbreaker.

No prizes for guessing if I liked it. Everyone knows I have an almost maniacal love for: a) kids films; b) cheesy spy shows; c) Robbie Coltrane; d) Stephen Fry; (and finally I must admit) e) Alicia Silverstone.

The set up is pretty much what you expect: uncle dies, kid realises he has unwittingly trained to be a spy, he gets recruited to continue his uncles work. It is run-of-the-mill but it gets me every time. The "ohmygodIdidn'trealiseIcoulddothat" moments, the gadgets, the one liners. Everything is here, like a box crammed with goodies. The film isn't perfect, it tends towards the cheesy and OTT but it is a kids film. Andy Horowitz, who wrote the screenplay and the novels on which it is based has done himself a little bit of a disservice by pandering to the conventions of the genre instead of sticking to his original vision but at the end of the day it probably adds some well needed fun to the piece.

The best thing about it is the slickness. It is amazing to see London and Britain showcased as if it is a big budget Hollywood spectacular. Action scenes take place in Brompton Cemetery (home to gay men in speedos sunbaking during summer apparently, though I am yet to see), Chelsea and in Welsh seaside towns. I know it is probably just me, but it gives the film a more grounded feel, which it really benefits from.

My biggest complaint is that most of the bigger name actors, even though they make a huge impact, get only seconds of screen time. The price of admission is worth it just to see Ewan McGregor pull off another round of expert smile-acting.

It is definitely a film for the young at heart, so what are you waiting for, go and see it now!

Oh, and I almost forgot. Alex Pettyfer, who plays teen-spy, Alex Rider is, um, I think the correct phrasing is "When he grows up he is going to be really good looking", which makes everything sound a little less sicko. He is really solid in the film and handles the role well. He has already quit school so I hope for his sake his star takes off. He shouldn't have a problem.

Tags: movie review, cinema

What Happened After God Created Manchester?

As the official members of the Rick and JP Fanclub, we took it upon ourselves to follow them up to Manchester for the weekend (they went up there for a wedding, actually they came back to Pommyland for the wedding). Of course, we also wanted to experience first hand a little Queer As Folk action on Canal Street so it was a win-win situation, or at least it appeared to be.

Let me just say, right off the bat, when it comes to buses in England, you get what you paid for. We paid for Megabus.com. £30 return for the two of us seemed like a good idea at the time. It is a pity that when you have good ideas they are not air conditioned, especially on hot summer days. Five hours in a Swedish sauna (that keeps stalling at the traffic lights) is not the best way to travel to Manchester.

Staying in a hotel in Manchester that has no air conditioning is not a good idea either. We ended up changing rooms but the new one had a Chinese water torture apparatus in the bathroom, which had been conveniently placed in the roof and situated to deliver its payload onto a bathmat in the reach-space between the toilet and the toilet paper.

Manchester, city of red bricks and empty boulevards; where heads are shaved and shirts are sleeveless.

Manchester has a completely different feel to London. Everyone is really friendly but they all look scary, and they all talk funny-like. The city is like a amalgamation of an Kalgoorlie and Darling Harbour. The IRA bombed the shit out of it a few years back and the new sections are well designed urban spaces, if not a little glitzy and glossy. The spaces are great but Manchester is still working on the urban living part. While we were wandering the BBC had set up a dance festival to enthuse the populous into enjoying the expressive quality of human movement. We watched the Spanish dance group Senza Tempo, which was intriguing but there was no simulated anal sex (S.A.S.) so it wasn't real art. There was very little appreciation going on, the small crowds that gathered looked more bewildered than impressed. I suppose you can drag a Manc to theatre but you can't make them think.

In the afternoon we popped down to Canal Street for some drinks. Lovely setting, lovely weather, lovely crowd, lovely food, ugly trannies. Ugly as a man, ugly as a woman, I suppose, but it was very sweet to see them walking hand in hand down the street. After some Thai and a long walk to a rather disturbing bar we felt that the weekend had caught up with us so we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep in preparation for the morning's journey (this time so air conditioned that I now have ten black toes and half a nose) and lunch with everyone down by the Thames.

There are more tales but you'll have to wait until JP sends me the photo of dear Nina chatting to the cute Italian boy.

Good times!

Tags: travel, Manchester, friends

LIttle Fish: A FilmExposed Review

A FilmExposed Review

Little Fish (15)

Dir: Rowan Woods, 2005, Australia, 114 mins
Cast: Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Martin Henderson, Sam Neill, Noni Hazlehurst

Tracy Heart (Blanchett) is a soul on the mend. Living with her single mother (Hazlehurst), Tracy ekes out an existence as the manager of a Vietnamese video store in Sydney's Little Saigon and dreams of taking control of her future. But Tracy's past constantly craves her attention: her mother's ex, ex-football star, Lionel Dawson (Weaving) is dragging himself off heroin and redefining his relationship with his supplier (Neill), and her brother Ray (Henderson) is branching out into dealing. As her past floods in around her Tracy is forced to confront the futility of her existence and must choose whether to sink or swim for her life.

Little Fish will undoubtedly draw comparisons with Cate Shortland's Sommersault (2004). Both films share a similar visual palette, a crystalline score and a concern with the urban character. Cinematographer Danny Ruhlmann makes full use of the colour of Sydney's Cabramatta. The night scenes are bathed in eerie greens and deep blues and marked with bleeding streetlights, imbuing the cement-ridden environment with a truly ethereal quality. Against this backdrop, the suburban concerns of Tracy and her family seem alien and otherworldly.

Little Fish is cinema on the slow burn. Director Rowan Woods walks the fine line between mood and listlessness, and not wholly successfully. At times the film stagnates in the lethargy of the subject matter, repeating and reinforcing the direness of Tracy's inner suburban life and the presence of her past rather than building on in. What saves the film from this mire are the beautifully drawn characters. There is a real sense of shared history threaded between the principle players and the urban landscape, a history that pulls them together even as they are aching to get away.

In Blanchett, Neill, Weaving, Hazelhurst and Henderson, Woods has secured a cast of Australian (and New Zealand) acting royalty and they all deliver gut-wrenching performances. Blanchett has been lauded above all for her desperate portrayal of Tracy Heart (taking home the Australian Film Institute award for Best Actress), and she is achingly good. Weaving (who also collected a Best Actor AFI) and Neill bring an equally textured quality to their roles, wavering between tenderness, exploitation and terrifying malice.

Much has been made of the Shakespearean qualities of script, and by the end of the second act, when the web has tightened and the underlying menace of the film steps out of into the daylight, the true scope of the tragedy becomes spine-chillingly clear. It is a beautiful and rare moment in cinema when a film can work an audience so subtly. Unfortunately Woods squanders the dramatic momentum and instead of a proscenium arch he delivers backyard melodrama.

Little Fish is a film that has captured the minds of the cinema going public in its homeland and sparked (once again) a celebration of the rebirth of Australian cinema. This is an accomplished and sometimes transcendental rendering of some desperate lives and, while it is unlikely to resonate quite as strongly outside of Australia, it is still a deeply compelling cinema experience.

Michael Scott

Tags: movie review, cinema, FilmExposed

Renaissance: A FilmExposed Review

I mentioned yesterday that I took in a film before dining with Rick and JP. I also mentioned that I would get back to you on what it was like. Well the reason I was waiting was that I thought it best that the review was published first. Published, that's right. And now it is published. I am published. It is only a film review but it is exciting nonetheless. I am sitting here at home by myself celebrating. I am dancing on the inside.

The site I am reviewing for (yes there are more to come) is called FilmExposed and its focus is British and independent film. If you click on the link you can even sign up for the newsletter.

I plan to post the reviews here also but I encourage you to check out the site because I obviously don't cover every film and there are some choice picks coming up.

A FilmExposed Review

Renaissance (15)

Dir: Christian Volckman, 2006, France/UK/Luxembourg, 105 mins
Cast: Daniel Craig, Catherine McCormack, Romola Garai, Jonathan Pryce, Ian Holm

Paris, 2054. Ilona Tassueiv (Garai), a brilliant young genetics researcher is violently kidnapped from her workplace and held without ransom demand. Hard-nosed cop, Karas (Craig) is brought onto the case by Tassueiv's employer, the omnipresent super-corporation Avalon. With the help of Tassueiv's sister, the femme fatale-ish Bislane (McCormack), Karas trawls the labyrinthine streets of the Parisian underworld in a hunt that becomes increasingly more desperate as the stakes are raised, not just for him but for all humanity.

Renaissance is a visually striking film. The marriage of black and white animation and motion capture (the process used most prominently by video game creators, animated features like The Polar Express (2004) and digital characters like Gollum and Kong) gives the film the look of a moving chiaroscuro woodcut, somewhat akin Sin City (2005) with the contrast turned up. Volckman deftly uses reflections, smoke and black space to add depth to the images, and he has created a world where there is always a surface to throw back another layer of light or shadow.

The realisation of the future of Paris is awe-inspiringly immense. Walkways, motorways and waterways of glass and stone threaten to strangle the skyline and the maze of transparent boulevards affords the filmmakers a densely claustrophobic three-dimensional space. Volckman and his crew use this topsy-turvy world to its full potential, framing their shots like the panels of a graphic novel, from every angle.

The film noir mood of Renaissance is a promising partner to the visuals so it is unfortunate that the end product is so bitterly unaccomplished. The plot is desperately convoluted, even by noir standards and is populated by crime drama archetypes to such a degree that everything feels far too familiar despite its futuristic setting. The impressive vocal cast do an admirable job but they are caged in by skittish, uncomfortable acting and can do little to dispel the feeling that credible performances were not high on the filmmaker's list of priorities. In fact, peel back the layers of digital trickery and the acting is decidedly amateur. The result is a heartless, un-involving film that quickly becomes incomprehensible through unmotivated actions and characters that seem to blend into one another.

While there is immense promise in the field of motion capture animation critics of the process openly question its artistic value. In many respects Renaissance is a challenge to the purveyors of traditional animation. It has taken an aesthetic and created a film around it, one that exploits the technique's ability to seamlessly blend realistic human movement and expression with images of the future into the visual fabric. It is disappointing that due of lacklustre performances and its paint-by-number plot Renaissance will be seen as an interesting motion capture experiment rather than a fully-realised feature animation, another victim of style winning out over substance. It is a dangerously stylish corpse. It is a beautiful corpse. But it is still a corpse.

Michael Scott

Tags: movie review, cinema, FilmExposed

It's Hot Up Here...

...It's hot and it's monotonous.


Not really, that was just an in joke for D and anyone else in the know.

It is hot though. For Ol' Blighty it is a heatwave. The mercury has been hanging around the high thirties for pretty much the whole week. Yesterday was the hottest July day since 1911. Impressive.

The problem over here is that they are just equipped for such temperatures. There are of course very few decent beaches (well not close to London), no swimming pools to speak of and air conditioning, even in shopping centres and cinemas, is rare.

When they speak of people dying over here in these temperatures, it really happens. The infrastructure is just not in place. And Sweet Baby Lord Jesus, you should try to sit on a bus or a train in the middle of summer.

To prove my point, here is a photo of a melted icecream. Case closed!


Hope it is not too cold where you are (bet you won't been needing blood flavoured ice blocks).


Tags: London, summer

Up, up and away!

No, this is not a Superman post. Haven't seen it yet and probably won't for a while. I am referring to the new FIFA rankings.

I mentioned a little while ago that FIFA had made an effort to streamline their ranking calculations. They have made a lot of minor tweaks, which don't warrant all that much discussion, but one of the major adjustments is that the rankings are now no longer based on the past eight years but only the past four.

With that in mind, and taking into account our showing in the finals this year Australia has jumped 9 places and we now sit at number 33. I know, it is a little strange seeing Australia anywhere but the top five. Hell, we've got to start somewhere.

Others who have benefited from the shakedown are Italy (though winning the World Cup helped a little), Ghana, Guinea and Equatorial Guinea, who jumped an astonishing 59 spots.

If Africa are up Asia are most definitely down. South Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia all dropped significantly. Japan, after a horrid tournament plummeted from 18 to 49 (lower than Australia was when we entered). This of course means that when we move into the Asian Zone we enter as the highest ranking team.

Finally, of course, we have to thank FIFA for restoring order and moving USA out of the top 5. They still sit in the top twenty, which is reasonable, but it was ridiculous to see them above teams like England, France and Germany. (Look at me, all traditional all of a sudden!)

If you haven't yet checked out FIFA's Interactive World Map then click on the pic above. It is most informative.

Tags: football, soccer, FIFA

Since You've Been Gone...

...I can breathe for the first time! (sorry, got carried away)

Last night was my first (or second, can't remember, too tired) night at home since the boys arrived.

Spent last Thursday at Rupert Street Bar (where we saw these dashing fellows taking a break from The Canterbury Tales,) then at a cheerful little Thai restaurant in Soho(hoho). In between I went and saw Renaissance and they kept drinking. They can't remember the restaurant and I am trying to forget the film (I'll have more on that one later, fucking French!)


Friday was "Let's Catch Up With All Of Rick and JP's Friends" Night. Laaaaaaaaaarverly people. We started at the Pitcher and Piano in Soho(hohoho hum) and finished in Fiction. In between were many pints, many more laughs and an inordinate number of dramas. Snaps go out to Gary and Leigh and Helen and Suz and the rest of the crew. Fantastic people.

Saturday found us out in Ladywell for a barbecue at Helen and Knives' we-bought-this-from-a-Dead-Or-Alive-bandmember house with the deathtrap stairwell. What shall we say about the barbecue girls? Do you remember the magic nose goblins from Ren and Stimpy? Well that is what the grill, which was upside down, looked like when it was lifted up and righted. Oh, and it had a sausage left on it from last summer.

The cooking production went something like this: wash grill, coals in, coals lit, grill on (right way up), sausages on, sausages off, coals out (but still lit), charcoal grate in, coals in (again), more coals in, sausages on... and off we go. As payback I burnt all the food but it was still tasty. Thanks muchly ladies, it was a blast. LOVED the stories! (sorry we couldn't stay for the singalong).

Sunday we ended up in Kew watching the cricket. It was a whole different experience watching cricket in England. Silly really. Kew is lovely. We had every intention of visiting the gardens but for £11.75 (plus £5 for the palace and £3.50 for the pagoda) we thought we'd rather just stab ourselves in the thigh with a fork. Rick showed up so the day turned alcoholic. Nothing serious, just some wine and some Pimms washed down with some pizza and a dvd later that night.

Breathe in, breathe out... Monday. Left straight from work to drop in on Rick, newly arrived Nina, and her boyfriend, Jonathan Rhys Meyers. More alcohol, more great people, more sun.

Now all the fun is over. The boys are leaving for Manchester today (actually, JP has been in Ireland most of the time eating his boiled chicken and potatoes).


No, you are right, the fun doesn't stop here. We are heading up with them.

Then, of course, it is back for lunch with the girls on Sunday. Will the fun never cease?

p.s. I miss my barbecue. I hope you are looking after it sister-mine.

Tags: London, photos, friends

For Myron

Thinking of you.

X O X

Tags: London, photos

I'm Baaaaaack, and so is Buffy!

Sorry I haven't been posting all that much, ladies. I have been terribly caught up with a couple of "New Australians". Five solid days and nights of drinking = no blogging.

Anyway, I'm back now for a few days (we head off to Manchester on Friday) so you have to put up with me again.

In more important news: Buffy is coming back!

Well, only in comic form but it is written by Joss "I own Buffy's cute little arse" Whedon so it is sure to be taken as canon. According to Popwatch the new adventures follow on from the big eventful conclusion of the final episode (which we can't mention until someone gets off his arse and watches it!)

I'm in!

Tags: Buffy, comics

Bring "Screw-On Head" to Life

"I'm so excited, I just made water in my pantaloons!"

It is not often that you are handed the chance to bring a television series to life, especially one produced by Bryan Fuller (the guy who brought you Wonderfalls and
Dead Like Me).

The Amazing Screw-On Head is based on the comics of Hellboy scribe Mike Mingnola and features the incomparable vocal talents of Paul Giamatti, David Hyde Pierce and Molly Shannon. Could you ask for anything more?

The SciFi channel has put the pilot episode online to test the waters. Believe me you need to get there now and view it. It is out of this world funny and it is going to be a HUGE cult hit if it gets the greenlight. There is a little survey you can use to voice your love and bring this baby to our screens.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH ABE AND SCREW-ON HEAD (WITH THE AID OF MR GROIN AND MR DOG) DO BATTLE WITH THE EVIL MR ZOMBIE

Tags: television, comedy, comics

Guess Who???

I'll give you a clue... One smells like curry and the other is ginger!

Click the pic for the answer!

Tags: London, photos

Do you want to work in Debenhams?

...cos that's what they expect!

Start in Lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor...

Tags: London, music, Belle and Sebastian

Why does my Weetabix taste like smokey barbecue sauce?

Oh, it is the milk from the off-licence.

Urgh!

Tags: London, food

Why, Zidane, Why!!??!

Grrr, look out! I'm doing my rhinoceros impression!!!

No word as yet on why Zinedine Zidane (the man with the coolest name in the world) chose to end his football career on such an abysmal low last night.

One thing is for sure, FIFA didn't seem to mind. They named him player of the tournament. He gets a pretty golden ball. I wonder if he will dare to show his face to collect it.

If you want to get into the mind of Zidane while you wait to find out what the fuck went down, Angela has sent in this excellent game inspired by the event.

Tags: World Cup, Soccer, Zidane

World Cup Fallout

Well it is all over for another four long years.

What a game. Italy are champions of the world. Zidane scored (just) off a dubious penalty (karma?) then goes on to head-butt one of the opposition (wtf?), leaving the world stage, and football in disgrace. And the Italians win a final on penalties for only the second time in history (and who took the winning kick? Grosso, number 1 on Australian football's most wanted list!) So, at the end of the tournament, apart from crowning the Italians as champions for the fourth time, what has changed in world of football?

First off, there are a few tarnished reputations. The biggest has to be Cristiano Ronaldo's. Stepping into the finals looking a pretty good bet for the "Best Young Player" or even a chance at the "Golden Boot", Ronaldo has walked away with a PR nightmare. The 21 year old spent most of his time in tears, throwing tantrums and hissy-fits left right and centre. His most enduring legacy will be his 30 metre run to the referee to whine about Man U. team mate, Wayne Rooney's boot in Carvalho's groin. Cristiano got a push, Rooney got a red card and the Portuguese bench got a wink. Ronaldo is already bleeting about a transfer to Real Madrid; he needs to go somewhere, not even his ego is going to be able to withstand the backlash at Old Trafford.

France's Thierry Henry, a player often held up as the model of clean football, leaves the competition with the dubious honour of being the player who has committed the most fouls in the finals. The most damning of course being the audacious dive that saw Spain go down a goal in their meeting in the second stage. It is always heartbreaking when the pillars of the game show the same cracks as the rest of the players. The daughter of one of my work mates has sworn off Arsenal (Henry's club) because of his dive and I am sure she will not be the last.

And I have no idea what to say about Zidane. A sad, sad way to step away from the game. We will have to wait and see what the story is behind that. It really is upsetting.

Italy of course came through after over twenty years of upset. For them it came at a time when football at home is in a sorry sorry state. The woes continue though for Spain (who once again bowed out in the second round) and England. Beckham, despite stepping back into form somewhat has resigned as captain in a truly emotional press conference. On top of that, Owen damaged, Rooney frustrated and Walcott still untested. Sven is gone but have the English gone for a more inventive, progressive manager. No, they have gone with Sven's 2IC. Good moves all round.

The referees? FIFA made a concerted effort to crack down on foul play in these finals. Unfortunately, what resulted was a barrage of ineffectual red and yellow cards, which culminated in the bullish display of refereeing between Portugal and the Netherlands. FIFA came under attack before the finals for sourcing referees from the most far flung of nations instead of relying on the trusted bastion of the European whistle blowers. It is ironic then that the most criticised refs have been from major European countries. Poll was sent home in disgrace after he managed to give 3 yellow cards to the same player as was Ivanov for the Portugal/Netherlands match. In any event, this world cup holds the record for the most cautions ever handed out so surely there will be some discussion about what can be done.

Where do we go from here? South Africa? Maybe, maybe not. There are rumours afoot that the African nation won't be safe enough or readied enough for the event and that it could move to Australia instead. I wish nothing bad on the South Africans. It would be wonderful for the continent to hold it there. Then again, I would love to see it at home as well...

I suppose I will end with congratulations for the Socceroos. They did such an awesome job. The USA entered the tournament ranked number 5 in the world, Australia at 45. FIFA have admitted that their rankings are a little off at the moment. The new rankings come out this week with a new system. I am very interested to see where we pull up. Surely the only way is up now for soccer down under. From now on we are playing with the big boys of Asia. Fingers crossed that we manage to pull a decent manager for the team now that Hiddink is living it up in Red Square.

I will leave Neill to have the last word...



Tags: World Cup, soccer, football

Watership Down (or Blood, blood, bunnies and blood!!!)

You can file this one under "I'm checking this out because I have fond memories of it from my childhood and they were playing the song on Big Brother the other day". All I remember of the film from my younger and more vulnerable years is that I loved the bunnies and the ending scared the shit out of me. I don't think it scarred me for life like many people claim but it certainly left a mark.

Watching it again made me realise how much I miss the more classic style of animation. You know, the one that has been killed of by CGI. I don't think computers can come close to the beauty of a watercolour multi-plate background. Watership Down has some stunning animation and some that is not so great but it never looses its charm. On top of that there is a real sense of doom that bleeds through the scenes. Perhaps that is why the film is so enduring; it is not a patronising piece of animation that panders to the kiddies like most of the pap they are fed today (or back then, to be fair).

There is plenty of blood and death and some chillingly depressing scenes. When these rabbits attack, they go tooth and nail. Fur flies! And whenever there is blood, the flies come quickly. Ah, nature.

Richard Adams' original novel is a hefty tome and its distillation into a film has left a plot holes big enough for a rabbit warren. It is very episodic and by the end, when it settles down it seems a little underdeveloped. Don't worry, the kids won't mind, they will be too busy shitting themselves.

If you need a reminder...


Have a good night's sleep!

Tags: movie review, animation

Les Bleus vs. the Azzurri

Do I have to spell it out for you ladies? It is blue against blue tonight in the FIFA World Cup final.

Who to "root" for?

Like Natalie Imbruglia, I am torn. The only thing keeping me loyal to the French has been their late run of brilliance, mainly from the boots of Zidane (this will be his last international) and the fact that they can stay on their feet.

The Italians, who I thought I could never barrack for again, have played some stunning football recently and slowly begun the climb out of the pit they dived into against Australia...and they have Cannavaro!

Ah, fuck it! I am sure it is going to be brilliant, whoever wins.

I leave you with these images of Fabio Cannavaro. Oh, and thanks to everyone who mailed me those photos of the Italian football team. They were stunning photos but they weren't the Italian football team (unless Kelly Slater has moved to Italy and taken up fooball). Here is the real thing:



Tags: World Cup, soccer, football

Pirates Of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest (or What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?)

As soon as the titles came up for Pirates Of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of oh-dear-what-have-we-done-? because what I remember of Pirates Of The Carribean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (and it wasn't much) flashed before my eyes.

I liked the first film but I remember that half way through I was looking at the pretty pictures and watching my watch. The only thing that pulled in into anything remarkable was the presence of Cap'n Jack Sparrow. This was pretty much the same, except I was watch watching quarter of the way through. There are some pretty bits. Bill Nighy as Davey Jones perks things up; the CGI is fantastic and Nighy's acting shone through. There is lots of lovely scenery. And Jack.

On the down side, you could probably have the same experience playing the computer game. The film is pretty much a heap of setups for the first person gaming. There is very little tension in the piece because there is never really a sense that the characters have anything invested in their fates. It is just not tight enough, they have spread the goodwill pretty thin. Then, let's face it, these are films based on a ride at Disneyland.

Roger and I are rarely in agreement on films and we both walked out of this one appalled that we had wasted two and a half hours of our lives. Becks only got through twenty minutes of the film before she had to rush off to throw up. She got the better end of the deal! Margaret and David wouldn't agree so take our opinions with a grain of sea salt.

Go and see it, otherwise you'll be wondering what you've missed but when you walk out, remember Roger's words: "I'm very disappointed with films nowadays!", then rent Master and Commander.

Tags: movie review

Torch Song Trilogy (or How To Lose A Guy In 10 Gays)

You may have noticed that I have been gaying it up, cinematically, in the last few weeks. I think it is actually a withdrawl symptom of not having seen The Celluloid Closet in many moons (I used to watch it with obsessive frequency until my video cassette broke down). Last night I took in another "classic" of queer cinema, Harvey Fiernstein's Torch Song Trilogy.

Hmmmm...

Matthew Broderick is in it... Ann Bancroft is in it... Harvey Fiernstein is in it (and is not totally annoying)... It isn't bad.

Actually, after the first half it really picks up. It wallows in many a cliché, but hell, clichés are there for a reason, and it hasn't really shaken off the staidness of its theatrical origins (originally it was a series of three one act plays, which starred Estelle Getty) but by the time the cards are ready to be laid on the table and the emotional grandstanding kicks off, it is quite affecting.

It seems wierd to talk about this film as having the sensibilities "of its time" because it was made less than ten years ago. It seems like it is more archaic though. The bar scenes (complete with a seedy back room) seem like something out of the Blue Oyster from the Police Academy series and some of the "gay" stuff is terribly "issues" based. There is always something a little wooden about the "relationships" in the film. Matthew, gay? Just don't buy it.

When all is said and done though, it is a heartfelt film and the climax is well written. I am a sucker for brawling Jewish mothers and Bancroft is excellent in the role (even though I would have preferred Getty).

A nice affirmation of living loud and proud.

Tags: gay, movie review

That's Nooo How Ye Meke Porage!

This morning we were out of cereal so I decided to eat porridge. Intrigued by the recipe on the box, which states add sugar or salt to taste, I decided to add bacon.

I don't know, I thought, two breakfast foods should go together. It sounded tres Scottish to me. Besides, one of my favourite meals is the New Yorker breakfast at Endis Café on Brunswick Street (which has bacon and pancakes with maple syrup - mmmm).

Searching for whether my culinary wake up was traditional or not, I found not. I also found that there are even better ways to eat porridge: snail porridge washed down with smoked egg and bacon icecream.

Verdict? Almost as tasty as the Scot on the box... almost.

Tags: food, London, haute cuisine

Saved (or Thank you, Sweet Baby Lord Jesus, for this cinematic take on your flock)

Maybe it was my experiences on the bus the other day or maybe it was the fact that James has been wandering around the house thanking (SBL) Jesus for, well, just about everything, but last night I was finally moved to watch Saved. And, praise the Lord, I was pleasantly surprised.

Sure, it is a teen comedy set in an uber-christian community but there is something refreshingly unpreachy about it. Saved effectively stradles the chasm between earnest naivity and scathing viciousness; the result is a film that feels true, that can be loved by bible bashers and heathens alike.

There is something compelling in all the characters. Mandy Moore is pitch perfect as the bitch with a heart that swells for the Lord and Jena Malone (from Donnie Darko) makes a likeable lead. Even Martin Donovan takes some time out of making Hal Hartley films to pop his head up as the "cool" headmaster of the evangelical school.

The biggest achievement of Saved is the care it takes to criticise religious fervour without belittling it. The way that these characters struggle to reconcile their faith with "goodness" in the inevitable messiness of diversity is both heart warming and wrenching.

All this in a teen highschool comedy.

Recommended.

Tags: movie review

Happy Independence Day, U. S. of A.

It is a little bit weird sitting here amongst the vanquished of Britain but I am happy to say I sure am pleased with the way it turned out. I am glad you got your independence, otherwise we might never have been able to read such insightful commentary as Mike Lopresti's take on the World Cup final four.

Have a sloppy joe on me!

Tags: football, America, soccer

"Common sense has to prevail here."

Love it or loathe it Big Brother is a broadcasting phenomenon. It portrays a splinter of our society, for better or worse. To what degree this splinter is representative of you is down to who the producers pick, but let's face it, they are representative of someone *cough* Club-Med Bali *cough*

Over here in the UK the local newspapers have spread over double pages news of calls for Big Brother Australia to be axed due to "alleged sexual assault".

Media fucking hype! A piss poor ploy from Network Ten to get more ratings and from every conservative political party... sorry, every political party in the country to rant about the how the show is pushing our nation down the slippery slope of moral decay. If you are out of the country (or have never been there) here is how the imaginatively named Channel Seven and Channel Ten (home of BB) reported it.

Shocking! Disgusting! Perverted! The show must be cancelled immediately! I can't believe they were able to get away with what they did!

Except this is the footage of what went on:



Yes, I agree they violated the terms of the Big Brother contract. It is entirely the right of Southern Star Endemol and Network Ten to "evict" them. I think it is the wrong decision. But to call for the axing of the show over an incident that happens every night of the week in Club-Meds across the world is absolutely ridiculous. To have politicians commenting on it on national television is downright surreal.

I agree that the producers of BBOz don't do the show a real service. Over here, BBUK is a hell of a lot cleaner, and a good deal more entertaining because of it. It is still trash, though, and always will be.

For this to be blown up like it has been smacks of Channel Ten getting burnt in the fire they have been throwing petrol on. I just wish they would remember that there are real lives involved here.

If there is something I am missing because I am outside it all, please let me know. Honestly it looks to me to be a big pile of bollocks.

Tags: Big Brother Australia, sexual assault, video

Good Song... Indeed!

I have been leaving my iPod on shuffle over the last week and listening to some of the goodies that have buried themselves in there out of earshot. So far I have been amazed that I didn't listen incessantly to Okkervil River's Black Sheep Boy when I first slapped it on there. The other little gem that I rediscovered is blur's Think Tank. The track that took my fancy was 'My White Noise', what a great sound. I have no excuses for not having listened to this album. I was an absolute fanatic for the band for years. I think I was just a little scared off by the divergent sounds on the disc. Don't worry, I'm off to rectify that right now.

Absolutely co-incidentally Pathalogicaloptimist over at ¡Viva la graham! posted the video for the track 'Good Song' and it is genius.

Enjoy!



You like?

On a similar note, I was just wondering if any of you were interested in the RadioBlog over in the sidebar. I know I haven't updated it since December, sorry, The Decemberists. It is just that it is quite an arduous process and I don't know if anyone was really bothered. If you are, tell me so and I will get onto it right away.

Tags: music, video

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

No, fuck off!



We spent today relaxing on Turnham Green. It was delightful.

We read books. We picked cherries. We ate clementines.



Thirty points and a Chupa-Chup to the reader who guesses the bestselling novel. Oh, and you can have the two left over clementines. (Clementines just sound so summery, don't they?)

Tags: photos, London, summer

Go GAY!!!

Tags: EuroPride, London, gay

We're Proud, We're Out... and so is England!

Yesterday, the streets of London were littered with gays from all over the world. Man-ladies and lady-men, I give you EuroPride 2006, a photo essay in 1 parts.



The parade had the pre-requisite mix of trash and triumph though there was not nearly as much hot man flesh as is on display in Sydney during Mardi Gras. Although I did get a photo one good looking guy...



There was a excellent balance between big, dancey, diva-blaring floats and community marches. At one stage a pair of lessssbians, who were wheeling their daughter along were asked to move off the road, to which they replied, "We're in the fucking parade!" Love it!



I've always enjoyed Melbourne's Pride parade over Sydney's. There is less pretense and they don't have to bankrupt the country to purchase all the sequins. London had the same sort of feel.



One thing is for sure: If they are going to release a EuroPride 2006 compilation they may as well just buy out the remaining copies of Confessions On A Dancefloor and repackage it. I am sure Madge's throat was sore by the end of the parade.



Paul and the gang met us down there after about three quarters of an hour. Their pain threshold was a little lower than ours so after about two seconds of arm twisting, we skipped across the road, pranced down Carnaby Street and into Soho Square.



It seems all the naked man flesh had missed the parade and gone straight for the party. Soho was awash with skin and the smell of whey protein hung heavy in the air. There were a couple of djs from Madrid playing and the good ladies in the beer tent kept the lager flowing.



Me, Paul and an audience. Don't worry, it didn't get too out of hand. We weren't as trashy as some of our brothers and sistas out there.



We chose some dodgy Chinese buffet to fill ourselves with alcohol soaker. I recommend the seaweed salad and the peanuts. While we were eating we were surrounded by the nail biting and cheers of the England supporters as they watched ANOTHER penalty shoot out with Portugal. I needn't tell you who won. It was a penalty shootout. England are really, REALLY good at those.

We ended the night at Duckie in Elephant and Castle. They had a bizarre EuroSHAME party going on. Let's just say it was a unique experience. At the door they had hired some gypsie beggars to dive into your pockets. They got their nimble fingers into Roger's.

Inside there was a booth for all the countries of the Union and each had a little stall where you could spend your Euros. Owing to unforeseen circumstances my money remained unspent, but the others managed to get their nails painted in the stocks of Slovakia and bared their arses in the Czech Republic.

I'll never look at Vikings the same way again. Some people just shouldn't pole dance.



On the train home I overheard that France still remains unbeaten by Brazil, which leaves Germany, Portugal, Italy (divers, hiss hiss) and France in the World Cup. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Let's hear it for Europa!

Tags: EuroPride, London, gay, photos