All Good Things...

See, all houses in London do look the same. This is our street. One of these is our house, for which we are currently looking for some friendly tenants.

Thanks to the wonders of Google Earth I can show it to you. Google Earth you say! On a mac?

Well, yes! Imagine my surprise when I searched on Google to check if they have managed to take some time out from censoring themselves to release a mac version of their superb aerial Earth viewing tool. And they have!

According to Version Tracker it was released just over two weeks ago.

So mac users, go forth, download and explore! Weeeeee!

Tags: Google, Google Earth, Apple

Alias Return Update

Bad news, bitches!

There are rumours abounding that Alias' return is not going to be this week but sometime in April (probably April 18). To go along with that there are only 8 more hours of Alias left, not the 13 that we should be getting.

Grrr!

Tags: television, Alias

Oh, look!

I had a hair cut!


They cut all the blonde out. I suppose I am smarter now.

Smart enough not to visit a hairdresser on Chapel St. again.


Famous last words: "Do whatever you want with it!"

Geeky TV Talk

I don't watch many TV shows (yeah, right). Okay... I do watch a lot of TV shows and I usually follow them with a rabid tenacity. Some I hang onto past their prime, purely for sentimental reasons. Some I hang onto because they still have kept that spark alive and manage to get the heart to race past the mounting implausibilities. And some I hang onto because they show a glimmer of promise. Well one of those has just dropped off the viewing schedule. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hex and I want my money back.

What started out as the English answer to Buffy (but with added sex and gore) turned into some pallid turn at idiocy, with sex and gore. Sure it had lesbian ghosts, fallen angels, psychotic fairies and sex and gore, but it lacked plot development, any sense of character, and internal logic. Yes, all shows have difficulties when they are born. I put a lot of time into waiting for this one to bite its way through the umbilical cord but it never happened. Hex just never found its feet and I am now leaving it to stumble through life without me watching it.

On the other hand, the new look Battlestar Galactica took off with last night's episode. It is a rare moment in television when a show broadens its mythology so completely in just one episode (though Alias manages to do it at least twice each season). This moment took place back on the destroyed "homeworld" of Caprica, now under cylon control. Everything was told from the cylon perspective and religion, identity, cultural ethics and genocide were brought to the fore. Battlestar is setting itself up to tackle some really interesting issues in the coming years. Let's hope it lasts.

Okay, I've finished geeking now.

Tags: television, Battlestar Galactica, Hex

¡¡¡Practica tu español!!!

Never do I wish more that I could speak better Spanish than when a new Almodóvar film pops up. "Volver" is going to hit Spanish cinemas on March 17 this year. Twitch has hunted down the very first trailer (unfortunately it is only in Spanish and it takes a long time to load).

I have been waiting for this one for a while. "Volver" is the first of Pedro's films to star Carmen Maura since their very acrimonious split after "Women On The Verge Of A Nervious Breakdown". Before that, Carmen had appeared in all but one of Almodóvar's films, they were like bread and olive oil. Then something happened. They have both been quite tight-lipped about why it all broke down. Who really cares? What is a twenty year public feud between friends?

And what is the film about? Mothers of course. Carmen returns to her village after her death to help her daughters through their issues. Penélope Cruz, Lola Dueñas and Chuz Lampreave (the funniest woman on the planet) round out the fantastic cast.

Tags: movies, trailers, Almodóvar

The 40 Year Old Virgin (or, Will Ferrell's apprentice is now the master)

Steve Carell is a fucking comic genius!!!

I first bumped into him in the Will Ferrell vehicle, Anchorman, which I loved to pieces. Since then he has gone on to play Ricky Gervais in the US version of The Office. Carell is a master of the uncomfortable moment and this film milks that for all it's worth, then it takes all that warm breast milk, greedily drinks it and spits it at the screen. Yeah, it is that sorta film. Buddah, you'll LOVE it!

Carell plays Andy Stitzer, who is forty years old and, you guessed it, a virgin. When that fact becomes known by his workmates they set out on a mission to get him laid. I know it sounds infantile. It probably is for the most part. There are so many great set pieces, scenes that play out so well because they resonate with those uncomfortable little moments in our own lives. I would list them but there are too many and it could possibly be a little too revealing.

Andy emerges from all of this as an extremely sympathic character. It is a mark of the hidden maturity of the film that he is not played out as a pathetic creature but instead wins the respect of all those around him. Don't worry, the maturity is very hidden and heavily obscured by shitloads of innuendo, double entendre and gross out, politically incorrect one liners. Most of this is showcased by Andy's workmates, Jay (Romany Malco), Cal (Seth Rogen) and David (who is played to the nines by personal fave, Paul Rudd).

Make sure you stick around for the "climax" it is Hil-AIR-i-US!!! (especially Paul Rudd's dancing). Oh, and watch the special features so you can see the extended "You know how I know you're gay..?" sequence.

Cum-loads of fun!

Tags: movie review

Sideways (or, How many wine analogies can one fit into a single film review?)

Okay, so you may have noticed that there are a few not-very-new-release movies popping up in these reviewish type posts. Sorry, but I am not going to apologise for this. All I am trying to do is let you know what you should see and what you shouldn't. At least then you have someone to blame! Which brings us to this film, Sideways. Why has it taken me so long to see this film?

The answer is simple: It seemed all too grown up. And it is!

Sideways both revels and wallows in its maturity. It is like a full bodied cabernet; it is not going to be loved by the masses (read under 18s). The age and experience needed to connect with this film is apparent from the beginning. Miles and Jack (Paul Giamatti and Thomas Hayden-Church) head of on a bucks' wine tasting tour before Jack's wedding and end up hooking up with Maya and Stephanie (Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh) at a bar/restaurant near their hotel. That is pretty much it. It is a concentrated character piece that succeeds because of its warmth and naturalness. It doesn't have all that much to say. It is just a good solid red.

Hell it is funny. Scarily, it brings back many memories of wine tasting tours and the pretentiousness that can follow you around. Unfortunately, just like a night out, the laughs dry up and everything gets heavy when the alcohol soaks in. While Sideways is not as successful in its downward slide, it is certainly evocative of those depressive waves that come on a drunken night after a breakup.

I am not writing anymore because my attention span has just expired! I want my MTV!

Tags: movie review

Outré Meets Kozyndan Meets The Postal Service

Thought, since I have added more links for y'all down in the sidebar that I would bring your attention to some of them. Today's feature is the splendid Outré Gallery. This fine website is the digital companion to their physical space on Elizabeth St. in sunny, not so sunny, sunny again Melbourne.

Their exhibitions range from quirky to strange and there is often a fair dollop of kitsch thrown in for good measure. The image above is from their current exhibition of works by Niagra.

Coming up in March is one of my favourites, Kozyndan. They are a husband and wife team who have put their pencils to work on, amongst other things, the covers for two singles (Such Great Heights and D.C. Sleeps Alone Tonight) by The Postal Service. I love it when ace people collaborate!

See how ace they are:



Tags: art, design

My Own Private Mont Cristo

Yesterday I came up against my very first bout of ageism. It got me down a bit but I have decided (with a little help from my friends) to get up off the floor and get nasty. Korea-nasty!

The story goes like this. I have decided that while I am over here I am going to try to jump ship and work outside of teaching, the career I chose when I was young and impressionable. To that end I have been applying to jobs in the media/publishing field, which I think I would be quite successful in. Sure it is a stretch but I thought I may strike it lucky.

Then I got this email from the recruiter. It was either mistakenly (and stupidly) "cc"ed to me, or mistakenly (and even more stupidly) sent to me in reply rather than forwarded to the HR manager of the office where the position is available:

Really don't think I can do anything with this guy and he's probably no good for you either, being nearly 30 and an ex-teacher but didn't want to deprive you!

Hasn't this woman realised? 30 is the new 20! Her loss.

I have decided that I am going to become a big (though late blooming) success and then walk into her office and say something very witty and cutting (don't worry I have a few years to think it up).

I will get back to you in a few years to let you know if revenge really is as hollow as everyone makes out.

Tags: revenge, job search, ageism

A L I A S !!!

I know there has been one singular question burning on your collective lips since this blog hit the "blogosphere". I know you have been dying to ask it. Well now you can!

Where is my Alias fix?

And the very very very spoilery answer is HERE!

Alias, trash tv par excellence, is returning in just over a week to finish off its last ever season. Who will show up? Who will die? Who will die then come back from the dead then die again? When will Jennifer Garner reveal she really is an hermaphrodite?

All these questions will be answered in the final story arc, which concludes for ever and ever in May (or does it?)

UPDATE: Apparently the return date is no longer March 2 but has been changed to March 2006. I guess that means that they haven't chosen the exact night they are going to screen it on. I would imagine that it will play in the first week of March though. All good things...

Tags: television, Alias, Jennifer Garner

Remake-wallah

Oh my many deities! This is too good! Even as a remake of Oldboy is in the works at Hollywood, Bollywood has released their very own carbon copy remake. Surely artistic integrity exists somewhere in the world.

Moon Karma Zero has the Indian trailer, which you can compare to the Korean version's trailer here.

Thanks to Moon Karma Zero for the poster too!

Tags: Chan-wook Park, Bollywood, remake

Naughty Gooooogle

It seems poor Google can't do anything right nowadays. The Australian reports that a U.S. judge has ruled they have infringed the copyright of a porn company:

The type of search with which Perfect 10 took issue is Google's "Image Search" function, which returns a page with tiny images - known as thumbnails - that fit the searcher's query.

The image search function also allows searchers to view the image as it appears on the page.

The judge ruled that because Google received advertising money from offering search functions, it was not entitled to the same level of free use of the images as other entities would be.

Apparently this is an issue because the porn company sells the images for use on mobile phone screens. Hell, we wouldn't want the bogans of the world to get their mobile screens all porned up for free, would we?

Evil porn company bests the "goodie goodies". It is an interesting blow to Google, whose "Do no evil" mandate is taking a bit of a battering recently with their recent foray into censorship, I mean, China. Not that this is a serious miss step, I just like the image.

I also like this image (from Boing Boing)


Not that I have anything against Google. I think it is admirable what they have been trying to do (well up until this point), I just think that all successful companies end up sprawling so far that they take on a life and a morality all of their own.

Tags: Google, legal, porn

I've Started Tagging!

And before you start complaining, I am not running around with a spray can. I am adding some technorati tags at the end of each of the blog entries.

These lil' bastards help to direct new people to the sight, just in case they are at all interested in the things I have to say like both of you are.

They are actually quite cool because they will also take you off to other places to where other people are blogging on the same things. Delightful. Web surfing made easy!

They look like this:

Tags: blogging, tags, technorati

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance (or, They breed 'em nasty in Korea)

For some reason, it is de rigueur to compare this, the conclusion of Chan-wook Park's revenge trilogy (that started with Sympathy For Mr Vengeance and Oldboy) to Tarantino's pair of Kill Bill films. Sure, they both have strong female leads out for revenge, sure there is a child floating around, sure there is an unhealthy portion of blood dripping from the walls, but they are very different films.

The Kill Bills were a kind of in-joke in an Asian abattoir; they revelled in blood and violence then got all chatty about it. Sympathy For Lady Vengeance has its fair share of blood but manages to save most of it for its Grand Guignol ending. The poetic build up to the shocking events of the revenge act is a study of Geum-ja Lee, played to the hilt by Yeong-ae Lee, and her transformation into the Lady Vengeance of the title. This story is a fractured one, told in a series of macabre vignettes from Geum-ja Lee's prison days. Park's film is squarely in the hands of Geum-ja Lee and she is certainly a creation to remember. Calculating, manipulative and one minded, it is beguiling to watch her in action but her blood lust does not engender the expected sympathy because she has moved beyond that. To my mind the reviewers shouldn't be harping on about Tarantino's Kill Bills but Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo.

Therein lies the problem. Geum-ja Lee's revenge plot is rather threadbare and not so thouroughly thought through as Dumas' hero's, yet it is exhalted into genius by all who mention it. The true artistry in Lady Vengeance's vengeance is that she has managed to enthrall so many people in such a way as they would help her carry the plan out in the way that they do. The ultimate revenge act, though satisfying (or unsatisfying, as the case may be), was never never part of the initial plan and arises through circumstance. This renders much of the film structurally irrelevant. That said, many nuances and intricacies of the plot, by some accounts, do not translate well from their Korean context and this possibly obscures the real story arc to Western eyes.

Apologies? Sure. But it is a film for which you will actively search for reasons to forgive its flaws. Visually, it is stunning. Thematically, it is chilling. The performances are excellent and there are even some Australians in the cast (Tony Barry does an excellent Queensland drawl, Go Australia!). Enter with an open mind. Don't expect a facsimile of Sympathy For Mr Vengeance or Oldboy and you are sure to see the merits of this, the trilogy's conclusion. A fitting end to Park's haunting meditation on revenge.

News Flash: PIRATE DANCING COMES TO EARL'S COURT

Finally met up with my dear friend and pirate dancing partner. If you recognise him from the photo, you know how shy and bashful he is.

We mocked many of London's least fashionable homosexual establishments (The Yard, Barcode, Box) while drinking "pints" and researching for the second edition of Kate Hall's "Big Book of British Smiles".

Then we hit the true class and refinement of Earl's Court. After a short Big Buck Hunter interlude at some pub we sampled the delights of Brompton's. All for just £1. Hoorah.

Give Me Back My Marbles!!!

Ah, how many times do you hear politicians complain like school kids? How many times do you see politicians act like school kids?

While we were perusing the pillages of Lord Elgin I snuck up and listened to one of the tour guides:

"Of course, whether the freize should stay here in England or return to Greece is a matter of extreme controversy that we will not go into here...*insert plum British laugh*"

And from a passing Greek lady who was walking by "*insert rather loud mocking of plum British laugh*"

The elephant in the tour guide's cupboard. Hmmm!

To me it smacks of the worst kind of cultural imperialism. Poor little Greece is complaining that big bully Britain won't give her back what someone stole from her. What is Britain's argument? We can look after them better than you can! (and if we give them back, then we will have to give everything else back too!)

Okay, I am simplifying the issues a little (it is a matter of extreme controversy that we will not go into here) but in weighing up the arguments those calling for the retention of the marbles (and, by the extension of their arguments, ALL museum held antiquities) do smack of paternalism.

All I can say is: What about the CHILDREN!?!?

You can go here for more info on the push for the return. There are also some good tidbits and links here.

On a less controversial note (unless you are against cruelty to animals) here are some nice desktop pics I took for your computer that have lions being shot by Assyrian arrows.

Tags: British Museum, Parthenon, Elgin marbles

Æon Flux (or, Arguments for burning the MTV science fiction wing)

Æon Flux is to movies what hair bands are to music: All style no substance. Well, sort of. Actually there is a reasonable amount of substance to the flick and some quite intricate and interesting ideas being played out but it is all glossed over with lycra, hairspray and dicey editing that nothing really comes of it.

Of course, the film looks fantastic. Charlize tries terribly hard to pull a Jolie but can't quite manage it. It wasn't till the final shot that I realised why. It is that she looks like a chipmunk storing nuts in her cheeks. The original cartoon was very harsh, boney (beautiful) and angular. Charlize is a little too rounded and even an over relience on close-ups of hands and legs can't disguise that fact. Nor can it make bad fight scenes look slick and interesting.

All this is a pity because the original cartoon was rather good. Actually, strike that (I would do it myself but Blogger doesn't have a strike through option) because therein lies the problem. Just because something works as a two minute series of shorts (or half hour cartoon serial) doesn't mean it will translate into a one and a half hour film. It isn't a pity it didn't translate, hopefully it will convince people to stop trying.

The original Æon Flux was devoid of dialogue and fueled by futility. It worked because it was obtuse, it hinted at a broad mythology but never gave enough information to allow the audience to piece it together. The film version tries to play on that but gives the game away at the same time. Trying to be obtuse while spelling everything out is a one way ticket to box office and critical disaster!

Tickets please!

P.S. Go and see it for the hair though. Why else do you listen to Flock of Seagulls?

And another thing. Check out the imdb message board thread here. It wasn't so long ago that people were complaining that MTV movies were for people with no attention spans, now people are being attacked because they can't even sit through one of those.

The New World (or, How to steal an best actress nomination from a South American Indian for her amazing role playing a North American Indian)

I sometimes wonder how Terence Malick makes a film. At times I imagine that he is sitting in some poetry cafe in New York, he has an idea and he puts his hands up and silences the already almost silent audience, and says, "I am going to make a film." Then the word whispers its way around New York and across the continent and droves of reputable actors flock to him and from the window of the poetry cafe he carefully picks them out for the roles. Then he packs them all into a plane, gives them a story and tells them to go frolic in the wilderness for a few months while he runs around weaving in between with his eye plastered to the viewfinder of a camera. Then he cuts it all together, gently lays a layer of strings over the top and gets the actors back to the poetry cafe to contemplate their voice over onto the images. Voila!

Don't mess with it. It's my imagination!

Of course, then the nasty, evil, capricious studio executives take the hallowed reels and shorten them down to a shred of what they were and release them into the dirty, reeking cinemas so we can gawk at the pretty lights with our unworthy eyes. Okay, now I am just being silly.

In all seriousness, The New World is sublime. While it has more plot in it than most reviewers would have you believe, there is still a huge tonal element to the film that is more important than the actual goings on. The news on the net is that the cinema cut has been cut down to two hours down from over three and surprisingly, it really shows, especially in the first act of the film. If the take off is a little jarring, it is all forgotten at cruising altitude and the best thing about the trip is it never lands. Everything just soars. Colin Farrell is suitably beautifully tortured, with and without his shirt, Christian Bale reprises his role from Little Women to great effect (with his shirt on) and Wes Studi, Christopher Plummer and David Thewlis all act their pants off (figuratively). A pianoless Noah Taylor even pops up (Go Australia!).

But this film, squarely belongs to Q'Orianka Kilcher who plays the no name *cough* Pocahontas *cough* princess. She is utterly sublime. She makes everything believable, joy, sorrow, pain, love. And she is only fifteen years old. She manages to imbue the film with such pure emotion that everything lifts.

Ahh, my heart flutters just to think. Go to the movie's official site to share the love!

Enter At Own Risk!

Okay guys and gals, this one if for J.P. only, for only he is sick and depraved enough to enjoy it. Everyone else, DO NOT CLICK HERE!!!

Dubious thanks to Dlisted

(BTW check out the Dlisted blog coz it is a short and snappy, with a fair helping of viciousness!)

The Ladykillers (or, See, even Tom Hanks can't ruin a Coen Bros. movie)

I am a HUGE fan of the Coen brothers. I love their hyper-real take on the past. Everything slick, perfectly placed and coloured like an aged Pepsi-Co advertisement. I stayed away from The Ladykillers because I assumed, from what the critics had said, that the Coens had continued to stray from their world and into mainstream Glossywood. After being burnt by Intolerable Cruelty that assumption was pretty understandable. Understandable yes, but as it turns out, misplaced. I haven't laughed so loud at a Coen Brothers film since, well, ever.

Yeah, it's a remake and I haven't seen the Alec Guiness/Peter Sellers original but Joel and Ethan have taken the story and shoehorned it into their world perfectly. And what a world it is, crisp, clean and timeless. They always manage to texture their films so completely that time seems irrelevant. The action has been whisked off to the deep south of the U S of A and the gospel churches and old ladies could place it firmly in the forties and yet the Coens have chucked in "home boy" Marlon Wayans, very OTT but very funny in this context, an old Viet Kong General and your average middle American in a safari suit.

From what I can gather, most of the negative press has come from people complaining about how this film is not the original. I am going to hunt out the original but this version has to be its own creature. Sure, it is a little muddled at times and it is a little fluffy but it is a comedy. As much as it pains me to say, Tom Hanks does an excellent job as the lynch pin of the whole enterprise, though his mouth is so crammed full of blustering intellectualism that he is a little hard to take by the end... middle... beginning (depending on your threshold). Irma P. Hall is utterley fantastic as the old lady and easily the best thing in the film (followed closely by Wayans, who gets his best laughs playing off her).

I am sick of dribbling on. Go rent it if you haven't seen it. Don't expect Miller's Crossing and you're sure to love it. Now... where can I find Road to Perdition?

Dozey Daschund

If you have ever seen me laugh at the fainting goats then you know how much I have cried over the sleeping dog.

Good times!

(Like I said, very slow day today!)

Crazy Flash Games!

Had a very lazy day today. Applying for jobs online is extremely dull and uneventful.

This post at Boing Boing made me laugh so I went hunting for some other flash games.

Have fun here, here and here.

Ain't much thinking going on today!

Everything Ends (and is released to own on DVD)

I know a lot of you guys in Australia have been waiting for the final season of Alan Ball's superb-beyond-words televison serious, Six Feet Under. Well it is about to happen. Amazon are taking pre-bookings now. Believe me, it is money well spent. Saying goodbye to a television series, especially one as good as 6FU was, is difficult but they certainly gave everyone a send off to remember.

While you are all twiddling your thumbs waiting for Channel Nine to show how it all ends (god knows how long that will take) pop over and take a trip down memory lane. The official site has all of Claire's artworks, with detailed descriptions from the artists who created them, for you to critique.

While you wander the electronic galleries of cyberspace, listen to "Breathe Me" by Sia. It is the final track ever played on Six Feet Under. It is funny how this track and the show will always be linked. After you watch the finale you will never hear this track the same way.

R.I.P.

P.S. Be careful, some of the artworks are from the final season and are a little spoilery!

P.P.S. Sia is from Adelaide! Go Australia!!!

P.P.P.S. If you haven't seen the show yet, set aside a week and watch it ALLL!!! I envy you!

NO NECK MONSTERS

NO NECK MONSTERS
Originally uploaded by minkoff.

A cursory search of the Internet coughed up this little specimen.

I don't know if y'al know it but this blog is named after a line said by Elizabeth Taylor in one of my favourite films, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

minkoff has a whole album over at flikr devoted to collages of old movies and the like. Pounce on over and take a look.

MQFF

Okay, so I am not in Melbourne to do my yearly binge of film festivalling this year but I thought I would give you all a heads up anyway. Program's out, web site's up (and looking pretty flashy this year) and the regular fare of mediocre American indie "bums on seats" fare is floating around. As always, in amongst all the muck are some films that look like they have potential.

While the new website is a whole lot better than anything they have put up in the last few years, they have been a bit lazy with their links so I have popped some in for you to go to the official film sites to check out the trailers (where available).

Let's start with the schlocky American stuff. Adam and Steve looks completely unremarkable except that it has Parker Posey in it and she alway bumps films into the "have to at least take a look" category. There's a thriller based on serial killers and gay vid chat called Open Cam and a full on horror slasher pic called Hellbent , which hasn't posted a trailer yet but I am sure Tristan will fly down to catch it. Finally, I would love to see eXposed, a doco about the making of one of my favourite porn films, Buckleroos (did I just say that out loud?).

Somehow they have managed to pull Reinas, a film I was sure was going to get a general release in Australia. The cast is like a who's who of "las chicas Almodóvar", Carmen Maura, Veronica Forque, Marissa Paredes. Looks like a lot of fun. Another Almodóvar-esque film, El Favor, looks at the hijinks surrounding two girls conning a guy into impregnating them. Fun, fun, fun!

And yes, Rick, there are some "curry" films even though you still think there are no gay men in India. My Brother Nikhil looks quite good and there is a sumptuous looking film called The Journey.

There is a fair dose of gritty, issues-based films this year. The first British DOGME film, Gypo, is showing (though from the trailer it doesn't seem to be adhering too strongly to the rules) and there is an Iranian film Unveiled that looks quite good. Good Boys a film from Israel looks at street hustling (again) and there is a Fillipino film, Masseur that follows the life of a masseur (surprise, surprise) giving massages (surprise, surprise) with benifits (SURPRISE, SURPRISE) intercut with the funeral of his father (oh, downer!).

There is lots of other good stuff; singing sex changees, German black and white lesbos from the birth of sonic cinema and a truly wild Japanese flick called Yaji And Kita: The Midnight Pilgrims which I am sure would be an absolute blast!

Go forth and sit in a cinema! Get back to me on the good, the bad and the ugly.

Is this a sign that Macs are becoming more popular?

The crew at MacRumours has posted that the first Mac virus seems to have reared its ugly head.

Perhaps the golden years are over.

Check it out: The First Mac OS X Virus? (A New OS X Trojan).

Really, such a lotta fuss over a few extra Ss!!!

If you read the comments for the previous post you would have known that Donald said:

Ah...the future.

Speaking of absolutely nothing to do with the future, the classic "race" commentary by Buddy Cole (Scott Thompson from 'Kids In The Hall') is right here:

http://www.jkirkj.net/video/BuddyCole1.wmv

I love it.

To make it easier for you to visit the Silver Dollar and partake in Buddy's (oh, so wrong) wisdom, just click on the pic above or here!

Thanks Don!!!

The Future (insert wild choral voices)

I have been marvelling at this for a while so I thought I would share it with you all, just in case you haven't seen it yet.

Recently Apple took out patents for touch screens, adding credence to the heavy rumours circulating of touch screen video iPods. The patents have quite detailed descriptions of how the actual data manipulation may work. Well someone has produced a little mock up of how it could all end up looking.

Nice!



The vid has nothing to do with Apple (though the photo manipulation looks decidedly similar to Apples new pro-ap Aperture). You can check out the patents over at MacRumours.

With Microsoft's new OSX ripoff, Vista, slated for release (finally) at the end of the year, it looks like Apple may be ready to pull the carpet out from underneath them once again by taking things to a whole other level.

Spain, The Return

Better Beach, Ibiza
Originally uploaded by No-necked Monsters.

Been revisiting my sunny photos to try to get through the English weather.

Just put my photos from last year's trip to Spain into my online photo gallery in case I haven't already bored you with them.

You can see the whole lot here.

Happy Valentine's Day

Neale sent this to me after the discussion that ensued after the Paris post yesterday.

All I can say is, it is not love if it is not said with a dead Frenchman!

X

Love yous all!

Tweet

Tweet, originally uploaded by No-necked Monsters.

I forgot to post this photo too. I love it almost as much as the word pomplemousse.

I found myself taking a lot of photos of street art and linguistically interesting tidbits. This is just one of them.

Back from Homo-gay Paris!

Ahhhh, what a wonderful weekend!!!

I am now extremely tired and three stone heavier thanks to all the Nutella smeared crepes.

I won't blather on too much about it. Here are a few of my favourite bits.

This is how fast the Eurostar took us there.



I know it is not very interesting but I wanted to test out the video thing.



It was a lot colder over in France. We emerged into Paris at the Place de la Bastille where Lucy collected us. It was ace to see Lucy again. She has been studying in Paris for the past few weeks and is about to leave to go back to Oz (maybe).

We took it easy on Friday; just wandered the streets for a bit and wined on at Lucy's VERY expensive short term studio apartment on Rue de Lapp.

The next morning I took a stroll while the others slept. Paris is very peaceful in the morning.



I saw Notre Dame and the Pompidou then I wandered back, forced them out of bed and off to Sacré Coeur via Père Lachaise due to a momentary lapse in directionality. On the way we picked up some breakfasty delights and found out that a French grapefruit is called a pomplemousse. I love that word so.



We met up with Oscar but missed Jim in another bout of misdirectionality. Sacré Coeur afforded great views of the city and an appalling soundtrack thanks to a French busker butchering Oasis.



From there we wandered, wandered some more, tried to shop then went to sleep. We did our first Euro-Thai for dinner and it was actually quite nice. Different but nice.



And then we hit the town. We trawled the Marais for a decent club but they were all too small and crowded. I mean, people were dancing where they couldn't even stand up straight. We eventually headed back up to Lucy's end of town to a club called La Scene. Expensive to get in, even more expensive to drink, but it was a blast. We danced to the wee small hours and when it got too hot we disrobed, well, Lucy did anyway.



Much fun was had, much more fun than sleep. The next afternoon we woke up and headed off to see that tower everyone talks about.



Thanks to Lucy's friend Gwen we managed to queue jump and see it all in record time.



On the way back we passed by the Hôtel de Ville to see the ice skaters only to be mobbed by roller bladers on some sort of demonstration (love this photo BTW).



And that was it. Trip home and bed.

For ALL the photos you can go here.

Know Your Market

Saw this on the way to Waterloo International, advertising based on Ishihara colour blindness tests.

I don't know, to me, cutting off almost ten percent of the white male population, which, for better or worse, would seem to be the power consumer group par excellence, is a little foolish. Oh well.

It has finally happened

I know many of you have been waiting many years to see me in a suit. Well it has finally happened. I have bought one.

My new Sunday bests cost me £149 (but it was reduced from £300, so it is not too cheap). It is 100% wool and quite heavy weighted (thanks Rick). I know it is a little out of the ordinary but I am not a huge fan of ordinary.

























If you look carefully, you can already see that my eyes have taken on that dead, demonish look of the businessman.

Chinatown

My eyes are blue,



this wall is red!

Talk Amongst Yourselves!

I'll give you a topic:

There are not as many gays in London as there are in Melbourne, they just read more.



Discuss!

Match Point (or When Is A Woody Allen Film Not A Woody Allen Film?)

Americans are going to love Match Point as much as the Brits have disliked it. There is lots to admire in the film, especially when you consider that Woody Allen is such a genre unto himself and he has managed to break out of that so squarely.

Basically, the coach from Bend It Like Beckham is now a pro tennis player come instructor at some swanky English country club, meets some toff, then meets and falls for (or does he?) sister-toff and is taken in by mummy-toff and papa-toff, then he falls for crass American girl just back from Tokyo (or does he? well, yes he does) who also happens to be fiancé of afforementioned toff.

It is all VERY British, maybe a little TOO British; the toffs are a little caricatured and everything is a little calculated and even stilted. If you didn't know it was directed by an American, and such a prominent figure at that, you could easily believe that it was made by a Brit but, knowing what you know, you can sit there and see why it is so obviously an outsiders view. Maybe that makes it more interesting? Discuss!

There is really nobody to care for here so when the plot dog-legs I found myself saying, "Whatever, bit out of the blue, but, whatever." In the end though, you may find yourself walking out of the film thinking, as I did, that you actually wanted to get something else from the film that should have been there but wasn't (something I have found quite often with Allen of late). Cryptic? Go see for yourself then you may understand.

Tags: movie review, Woody Allen

Derailed (or What the F#@&?!)

Don't read this little review type thing if you don't want Clive Owen and Jennifer Annisstasstiou's new film, Derailed spoiled! Actually don't go and see this film with half your brain if you don't want to spoil it within the first ten minutes.

This has to be the most unimaginative and glaring look-at-me-I-am-a-plot-twist-waiting-to-happen plot twists ever to be made into a movie. The only thing that could have made the plot twists more obvious would be to have Wile E. Coyote standing next to them with a great big "Get Your PLOT TWISTS Here!!!" sign.

On the up side, Melissa George does a better American accent in this movie than the Aussie/English snivel we had to endure in Alias. On the even upper side Rachael Blake makes an appearance! Go Australia. Love Rachael Blake and have felt that way ever since she played Maxine in Wildside (the best Aussie drama ever!)

This is a great little review, isn't it? I haven't really said anything about the film. Don't worry the less you know the better. If you don't actually see the film (i.e. the very least you can know about it) that is probably best. So pretend you never even read this.

Becks and I are outside VUE Cinemas, Shepherds Bush. Look how happy we are to be out of the film!



Tags: movie review, Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston

Lo siento

For all of you who have been giggling yourselves to sleep at night in anticipation of the PSBs remixing Oldfrapp (yes, I am looking at you Donald Ritchie), you can find it here. (Thanks to iPop)

For everyone else: Sorry!

Did I Just Hear That?

On my way back from Morrisons the other night I actually heard someone say, in a very broad Australian accent, "Flat out like a lizard drinkin'!" I know that Acton is the new Earl's Court but this is ridiculous... it isn't the new Alice Springs.

On a fairly dissimilar note, here are some things overheard at an STD clinic. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I read this about once every six months and it reduces me to tears every time.

Morrissey Is Coming! Where My Razor?

So far my time in London has been marked by the bands I have not been able to get tickets to. Shows here sell out within minutes. Now, thanks to eBay and deep pockets, I can happily report that I have secured tickets to some upcoming "gigs".

If all goes well I should be receiving my DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE tix today! Hoorah!!!

And if all goes even better my MORRISSEY tix should be here soon after.

To celebrate I give you the gift of music. Pop over to elbo.ws, a site that collects posted .mp3, click on their Morrissey page and if you are quick you can grab the first three tracks off the Morrissey's upcoming The Ringleader Of The Tormentors. The first track ain't that good but the other two are classic.




And if you haven't been hooked yet, check out Death Cab For Cutie. Over at Puddlegum they have four great tracks. Soul Meet Body is one of the best off their new album, Plans, but I still adore the title track off Transatlanticism.



And last of all (Stu this one is for you if you haven't heard it yet) check out Bunch Of Betty's mp3 for this excellent Futureheads cover of Kate Bush's Hounds Of Love. Choice!!!

Oh well, I have to get back to missing some other bands now. High on the list (some haven't even sold out yet):

Snow Patrol
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Sigur Ros
The Decemberists
Mogwai

Wish me luck!

UPDATE: To make it easier for you, I have put access to elbo.ws on the sidebar along with some other mp3 blogs that have some decent tracks. I will keep the elbo.ws pane there as long as the artists stay of the same calibre. Check them out and if you like buy it or download it from iTunes.