Monday, October 23, 2006

Head On (or, Loaded)

Christos Tsiolkas' first novel, Loaded was incredibly important to me when I was coming out. That might seem a little strange; I'm not greek, I didn't live in Melbourne and I wasn't into hedonistic drug taking. But it spoke to me on a masculine level. Ari was confused about the world like I was confused about the world. Back before I came out, I shared his nihilism.

Ana Kokkinos' film, based on Loaded was equally important to me because it starred my first gay love affair, Alex Dimitriades.

Looking back on the film now, I still see why I loved it but I also see its glaring flaws. I love the immigrant philosophy Kokkinos weaved into the film though now it seems quite heavy-handed. I found so much meaning in Ari's attachment to Shaun, but now that seems so superficial and underdeveloped. Worst of all though is the ending. Seeing Kokkinos' recent release The Book of Revelation it is easy to see that she favours the intellectual symbol over the depiction of the real and it is more than evident in final act of the film.

While it fits perfectly with the downtrodden, alley-sex, underground tone of the film it seems ridiculous now that Kokkinos didn't counterbalance all that bleakness with a more realistic view of the "out" gay world instead of strapping up everyone in 3 Faces with leather and adding a dark room, especially when the film was already about to step into "romantic" territory with Shaun's ridiculous protestation, "I think I'm falling in love with you, Ari."

In the end it is easy to walk away from Head On thinking Ari was quite right to be such a miserable cunt. Thankfully I managed to outgrow all that self-hating bullshit. It is a pity that some of us never do. And, I guess, it is comforting to know that Ari is always there, looking hot and reminding us never to go back.

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12 Comments:

At 3:57 pm, Blogger Glenn Dunks said...

I did not like that movie. Not at all.

 
At 4:04 pm, Blogger walypala said...

I have one word for you...

Showgirls.

You know, I am never going to let you live that down.

Just kidding. I have a friend and whenever he questions my taste in films, which he does with startling regularity, I merely remind him that he loved Date Movie.

Life's little joys.

 
At 10:18 pm, Blogger richardwatts said...

It's flawed, and the novel is obviously better, but I still have a soft spot for this film - maybe because of Dimitriades' hard-on... *grin*

 
At 4:59 pm, Blogger Glenn Dunks said...

Date Movie... well, I haven't even seen it. But Showgirls is a masterpiece.

:P

I wish Alex Demitriades' penis showed up in a film that wasn't as ugly and revolting and boring.

 
At 11:50 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved both the movie and the book.

Was released close to my coming out, so I may have been influenced not only by Alex's erect penis, but the fact that he was jerking it on film...

Oh dear, did I just out myself as having a liking for porn...(not that this film was porn) :D

 
At 9:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm the odd man out but I really like it.
yes its a bit narrow, and extreme in its portrayal, but was an influence on me. its one of those movies I've carried with me. and yes richard, maybe it is just because of that great wank scene. is that wrong of me!!!

 
At 9:04 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Date Movie rocks.

And I won that conversation.

 
At 11:23 pm, Blogger FletcherBeaver said...

I loved Head on. I loved Wildside too, just quietly. Alex, woof!

 
At 9:07 am, Blogger walypala said...

Neale, let it rest. If you don't, I'll tie you to your sofa and force you to watch Dancer In The Dark.

Monsieur Beaver, I LOVE Wildside. I just wish they'd release the whole series on DVD. Alex was awesome in that. And Mary Coustas, phenomenal.

OMG, OMG, OMG, they have released it on DVD. Excuse me, I have to pop down to Borders or JB. OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

 
At 10:33 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not if I tie you to it first and make you watch date movie...

And, in any event, that whiny little icelandic troll who claims to sing can't hurt me [plugs ears with cheese and hums loudly].

 
At 1:44 pm, Blogger IAN said...

Ari was, like a lot of Australia, self depreciating. The older Greek man that he had sex with in the back lane, represented the future if he stayed in 'the Greek world'.Bashings by the police represented the atitudes of general society towards him,and Ari didnt seem to fit into the gay world (which u correctly say wasnt broadly represented) Ari saw no future, no place to belong so why not self destruct?
Dunno though if the film was flawed, I saw it mainly as a study of a self depreciating character?

 
At 11:49 am, Blogger walypala said...

See what I mean, too many symbols.

Sheesh!

 

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