Cannes' Heat

Some things I have had to let slide this year, with having no money to do anything. Cannes was one of those things. But did it have to be such a stunner this year?

The reactions are coming in on some of the films I sit at home hotly anticipating.

Sofia Coppola's 1770s/1970s melange, Marie Antoinette has met with boos rather than wees. Then, who cares about French critics anyway? Anachronism worked a treat in Plunkett and Maclean so I am still hotly anticipating this flick as I speak/read/type. Watch me, watch me anticipate hotly!

It was a whole 'nother story for San Pedro Almodóvar, whose new cinematic treat, Volver received more claps than slaps. You could fry chorizo on my anticipation for seeing Carmen and Pedro working their magic again. And Chuz Lampreave, too. Gold!

Hands up who is surprised that the critics didn't like Southland Tales. Richard Kelly's first film, Donnie Darko, may have been an instant hit with the geek-ridden "cult" film goers but it certainly didn't win the praise of many individuals with moleskin pads and sharpened HBs. Donnie's follow-up saw many a walkout but we all know that they were simply walking out of the chilly cinema to bathe in the hotness of my hot hot anticipation. I don't care what the they say, I'll get it. Myopic critics, pffft!

Finally, a project I have been following (and hot hot hotly anticipating) ever since Hedwig took off his/her wig. John Cameron Mitchell's Shortbus started with an open casting call for men and women of any make and model to come and create a film cram packed with sex sex sex. Real sex. It was on again, off again, on again. Lucky for us they settled on "on". The critics agree so all the film needs now is a distributor with a set of balls as big as my anticipation is hot.

There's heaps more on show and I have set myself the goal of being there sipping Camparo from Heath Ledger's navel this time next year. Don't worry, I'll send photos.

Tags: Cannes, Almodóvar, Sofia Coppola, John Cameron Mitchell, Richard Kelly