Big Bruva

Okay, Big Brother starts tonight in the UK. Actually it is starting as we speak. I was going to wait until the end to tell you but this is TOO good.

The English are spastic.

Already this slapper has come on and ranted about how hot she is. She stepped out of the limo and everyone booed her.

Classic quote 1: "I am so hot, even Davina will be at home flicking her bean."

Ew!

OMG, the second housemate could be ever so slightly spastic. And I use that in the mean that in the nicest way. He is really hyperactive.

Third. Prince William. Seriously. Blue-blooded to the core.

This is great! Next up a self proclaimed "Perfect Paki Poof"... It gets better... He's GLASWEGIAN... and his name's SHABAZ!!! He refers to himself as a 21st century Quentin Crisp with a Asian muslim twist.

Keep updating your page coz this is going out live!

Next up: Plastic surgery woman. And so conceited. I'll grab you a photo soon.

"I don't consider myself a freak, I just consider myself as something abnormal"

Ooh, Prince William is freaking out!

Next up is the first "normal" person. She is going to bomb big time.

Next up is another "good looker" (his eyes and his abs are his best features apparently). He's also the second guy to go into the house who doesn't like transvestites or camp gay men.

Number whatever is the misanthrope. Fucking misery guts. Interesting choice of game plan.

What is the house lacking?

That's right, a Welsh nudist who hates posh people. Guess they're serving leek every night in this house.

A male man-eater from Canada. Muscle Mary with muscles on the side. He has a phobia of pregnant women... classic.

Shabaz is going crazy for muscled cowboy hat man!

Another man-eater, but this one is English and female (though not pregnant).

Ah, now for some pure entertainment. Chinese scouser! Nuff said. Probably my fave so far.

She'd like to meet Madonna because she's mint. Mint! She uses my favourite 80s word. She's gotta win.

This guy has to be a favourite. Sezer! And the crowd love him. First time they've actually cheered.

Acutally Shabaz is going crazy for everyone. He is off his trolley.

And finally, just what the doctor ordered. The social climber. She wants to marry up (and the only way is up for our Vicky P.) And she is wearing a playboy outfit!

Here's another little update: Spastic guy has Tourette's. For more info on Tourette's, visit the Tourette Syndrome (UK) Association website... That link came from the BB site and I haven't tested it yet.

Also I have to qualify that I use the word spastic as a term of endearment and I think it is great they have put him in the house. Especially this house. With this bunch spastic guy is positively mundane.

Ooh, look at me. All PC all of a sudden.

Okay, let's tie this up. Compared to Australia these guys play hard. They have very thought out personas. That, or they have VERY strong personalities. On top of that, the audience over here is far more vocal. In Oz they are loud but complimentary. Over here they are far more judgemental. It is like a huge episode of the Jerry Springer show.

Goodbye summer.

Tags: Big Brother, UK