Wave Goodbye

Had my last bout of hand therapy today.

Can't describe how good it feels. Almost a year of doctor's visits, pain, little black stitches, two operations, exercises, putty, and generally not being able to do stuff.

Today seemed a little routine but everyone was impressed. The doctor who saw me admitted he wouldn't have been able to do as good a job, which is encouraging.

Kate at hand therapy was just as impressed.

It is hard to believe it has almost been a year.

Oh, I forgot to mention...

A couple of months ago I had the second operation on my hand. Tendon is all free now, cast is off and now it is all down to building the strength up again.

Excrutiatingly painful operation and recovery but everything is in fine working order.

That is all.

Scar Tissue

I neglected to let you all know about my trip to the hand therapist last week. It has been playing on my mind since then and not just because I was neglecting one of the prominent and more informative threads of NNM.

Apparently everything is going well. I still can't make a fist but the fingers are gaining movement steadily. If my hand continues to improve at this rate then I may be able to dodge going under the scalpel again. It was good news but unfortunately I realised how little work I had been putting into my hand. I had pretty much resigned myself to another operation.

More putty, more exercises and more massaging to work the scar tissue.

Scar tissue - forming even now and will do for another year or so. I found this immeasurably upsetting. It fucked my head up no end. In my mind, I was on the uphill trek, about to crest the hill and see the sunrise.

No. They are still pouring cement into my hand and I’m still sinking. (Okay, I was dealing with a breakup at the time as well.)

I know these are only symbols but I put a lot of stock in them. I walked out of the therapy wing realising that I hadn’t come nearly as far as I needed to, physically or emotionally. I’ve been living in a fantasy world for the past few months. It has been fantastic but ultimately illusory.

The road goes ever on…

Tags: hand therapy, injury, recovery